WHEEEE! CRAZY RETARDED NICE PHOTOS :D The trip back from esplanade on friday ;D






Yay its love that pulls us through.

Nobody understands me, nobody ever persists too. Guess i'll nvr find someone. Tears, tears, tears. They never fail to come, and they'll follow me the whole night through today.

Its hurt. And its showing. I just need someone to care, to care enough, to understand me enough through and through. I guess im asking too much.

I feel neglected. Really.



















I feel replaced. I feel something is changing, not me, but something definitely is. I know it. And this time my intuition is right.

PHOTOS TIME! TAKEN WHEN I RANDOMLY BROUGHT OUT MY CAMERA IN SCHOOL. SO FUN!


Eva! You posed for this ;D

Jasmine mugging, with her fav phrase " OH NO IM DOOM!!!"

?!?!!? STEFFFFFFFFFF LOOKS SO ... DESPERATE! HAHA!

Cherie said i mustnt blog this, so i did. That makes alot of sense.

Eva's doing.




You see her tilt.

Now you see me tilt.

Then sleep ;D (Dont ask why the rubix cube is on my desk, its all steFFF and her crazy craze for them.)


Wingyau's going to kill me if she ever see this!

HAHA. QIANWEN :D

PIGPIG! IS LOVE! Stef keep saying its damn qian bian, so she took a photo of it. How ironic.

Went to catch fireworks from France on friday with dannnn! :DDD Luckily we came early, cuz we thought it'll start at 8, so we were there at like 7 smth. It was scheduled at 9 but started later anyw. Hahah but it was seirously worht the wait because the fireworks were so pretty!!! And our spot was like seriously the best. You can see everything and the fireworks felt super near us. Whee pretty pretty. It was such a happy thing to watch the fireworks(: Yay! Didnt take any pics of the fireworks cuz we ewre too caught up in the feeling of awe while watching them. Hee.

Wonder whats going on. Dont want to figure it out. Complications dont work, but again oversimplifying things just makes matters worse. Im a simple person, really. Life just kind of sucks sometime, and happiness seems further away than I thought.

Rachel (Ong)'s all time fave Profiteroles.














And this is heaven! My Warm Chocolate Cake! Its nicer than TCC, pity it was so small. Shall go with Dan next time. I want to try my waffle ice cream and etc etc etc!! :DDDD

Thanks rachel for coming all the way down to pei wo. Whee i love my bestie ;D I think i wasted a lot of time your time, you must be mugging like shit. But i know you're reading this too. You deserve loads of hugs from me!

And i dont know where to start. Was it self radicalization or was it mere confusion of myself? Many times i come to realise i know nothing about myself, and i dont even knw if i even have a personality. I feel like a floating figure, just blending in with the crowd, just trying to please everyone, and yet in the midst of pleasing, i cant stop myself from showing the unpleasantness i felt when doing that. The only thing i know about myself is that im really weird. Like seriously so weird that i think nbody can ever figure me out. No one can because i think my thinkign is complex. And no, that isnt self praise, im ashamed of it. Im ashamed how Im just a fcked up someone, wallowed in my own small selfish world, being greedy and self-centred, always thinking that things shld go my way and i dont stop until things go my way. And despite that, i still dont try changing this really ugly blotch splattered in my sketch of life. This has really really really got nothing to do with whtever happened, its just totally random and out of the blue. Something/things been really really bothering for the past i dno, period? Yeah, i dno when it started. Is it a fear? Is it a worry? Is it just over sensitive? Is it insecurity? Nah i doubt so, i dont think so. I just dont get myself. Why the hell am i so irritable these days. why the hell do i get pissed off or upset over like serioously nothing? Why do i get sad and why am i never satisfied. True, im happy with some decisions, and i guess those are not a problem of satisfaction or wht now, i cant be more content with that, and its most importantly not the problem of never being able to satisfy me because i do get contented rather easily. I mean, really. And i think this just contradicted with whtever i said abt thigns goign my way, i dont know. Everythign jstu works so extreme in different situations that jsut leaves me really confused. Who the hell am I and do i have like zero personality? Sitting in the mrt station today for arnd 15 minutes just got me thinking. All these days i get frustrated so eaesily, never being able to hide my feelings, and gosh do i really need to start to make these negative feelings subtle. Why my smiles are growing lesser. Whats wrong with me. And i thought for so long, which just got me more frustrated, and my mind was blank, didnt know which mrt to take to where. So i just randomly took one to PS, then couldnt find a place to well study so as to get my mind off everything, then mrt to vivo, thinking perhaps the open area at the top level, which i think they call it the sky park or whtever, i can jsut sit somewhere quiet and stone. But nonono it was crowded with families and dozens over couples. I felt totally weirded out, like every corner, nono every step you take you can see couples k. But the night sky was really pretty. Though the moon wasnt full, there were like at least arnd 10 stars up there. But ah well it was so noisy, and i felt awkward even if i sit there, but thts if provided i can even find a space. So i just went back in and sat on those retarded green chairs. Stoned for another 20 mins and i was like forget it, i just think i need to change for the better, i need to be more understanding. Maybe i was too used to getting things my way, and i learnt how to spare a thought for others and learn how not to be selfish for once, and think of others, not just yourself, not just for your own joy or comfort or ease, but for others, their convenience, their happiness their worries. Learning it the hard way can jolly well be alas instilling it in my mind how i shld never be selfish and greedy.

Conclusion, pms-ing rly sucks. But im all fine now ;D I miss dan!

Whee havent been blogging for days. Been falling sick over and over again.So irritating!!! My stomach felt rly queasy, righ ton dan's birthday. Omgosh damn suay. Stupid jiale, she was saying i super suay over msn. Idiot man. Hahah and i've been falling asleep during lessons, because i havent been exactly feeling very well. Weh today didnt feel well again. Sooooo didnt go for the Connext singapore thingy which was rly lame anyw. And my sister is mean mean mean. Ah well time to get used to it. Hmm managed to go out with dan on his bday anyw. Whee dempsey hill!!! PS CAFE! OMGOSH its like super super super super pretty. The price is rly pretty too but hey the food was worth it! Like rly super nice, wanted to ask him to get the lamb but he refused. Idiotic man. Haha took some pictures aft that, then had to go home soon. Sorrrrrry): It was the best i could managed on tht day anyw. Sad sad nvm. Next year will be btr. At least i get to give him his card, prepared beforehand;DDDD I guess thts enough.
Went starbucks ytd. I swear im never ever ever going starbucks. Ew gross gross gross. The hot choc was so er xin! Bleah ):





LOVELOVELOVE YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST DANNNNNNNNNNNN!

Something for you:
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height.
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love you to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love you with the passion put to use
In my past, present and future too.
I love you with a love I seemed to lose,
But now i've gotten it back ever since you stpped into my life.
I love you with every breath i take,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love you better after death.

Been quite busy these days, quite tiring too. Haha but i know its all going to be worth it, everything will be. Lala shall just post a pic.

Rachel
Craze SixTEEN
Radin Mas NYGH
LA Rep
TWENTYTWO.OHFOUR
SAYANG ME AT
rachel.0422@live.com

SINGING'S MY LIFE
friendster profile(:
And love is in the air